Queen Once Said..

Under Pressure.  So I want to write, right? And yet I'm putting pressure on myself as to what I'm going to write about. How STUPID is that?! I haven't written because I've thought of a few short stories but I didn't want to post them not knowing how people would respond to them. What in the world would I expect to do if I actually had a deadline of some sort for a writing piece? Wishful thinking, but still I can dream right? I just am doubting myself and I feel silly because, I mean, have I even tried? No, I mean I don't even know how to begin to start to think about sending into magazines or papers. Once again, I'm a dreamer, I have great ideas but my follow through is horrible.

So here are some random thoughts I've had in recent weeks:

Who would want to read what I have to say?

I can't even spell, really? REALLY?

I'm not as good as I think I am and people will think I'm full of myself when they read what I actually do write.

I will start 4 books and not finish any of them.

If I actually DO finish a book I won't be able to handle the rejection I get from publishers.

Who can think of 300 + pages of fiction to write?

I'm still haven't finished my letter I've been writing to my Grandma, how am I suppose to make it through my whole family!?

I think I'll write a book about becoming a writer and the frustration it brings.

My book will never get to the Target bookshelves.

Ok, those are just a FEW of the thoughts I've had lately, obviously I am crazy. Wait! Writer's are usually crazy so this is perfect, or is it poets that are crazy? I need a goal. Writing is just like exercise to me right now. I'm not going to do it if there isn't a goal/end in sight. So a goal of mine is my grandmother's birthday, Aug 10 (right mom?) she'll be 87. I want to be able to give her a real book (even if it is a book of short stories) for her birthday. She has inspired me to go after writing and I want to show her my appreciation. :) I'm excited about but I need every one's help. (Especially family!) I need ideas for stories; even if I just know some of her favorite things, moments, holidays, etc etc, then I think I'll get enough for a book.

Anyway, this post was mainly a way for me to vent my frustration about the pressure I've been putting on myself no less. My goal is to write a short story tomorrow before I head off to work.