God's Hugs

God hugged me today. It was awesome and just what I needed at the time. I started calling these moments 'hugs' in November 2005. I was in a deep depression and alone in my college studio apartment, feeling so far away from God, and not knowing what do with my life. I was sobbing and literally went down to my knees and prayed 'God I am so alone, I need You right now. I need to feel that You are with me. Please let me know I am not alone.' Within seconds of finishing my prayer I felt as though I was getting the biggest bear hug I've ever had; which of course made me cry harder because God was with me and let me know He was there for me. From that moment on I recommitted my life to God and began a new look on life and how God interacts with me daily.

Many people think I am silly when I talk about my 'God hugs' I on the other hand feel lucky to notice them; I think many people go throughout their day and do not even notice when God is speaking to them or letting them know He is there. I view beautiful days as a sign from God, birds chirping, people calling to say hi when you need it the most. I use to bar tend in downtown Chicago and I honestly believe my 'big' tips were coming from God. I know that when you ask you shall receive; when I was younger if I actually remembered to pray I was selfish with them . I would be broad in my prayers for my family, the world and so on. I honestly thought that was enough. After my hug in 2005 I viewed the world differently. I now ask, in my prayers, to be a better Christian FOR God. This would mean if I woke up having a bad day and didn't want to go to work I would pray 'Lord, I pray that I work for YOU today, I want everything I do today at work to be for you.'  This would not only impact the way I worked but by the end of the day I would realize my day had actually turned out pretty well. It makes me smile when I realize asking God to be a better Christian for Him actually makes me feel better about life and the way I live it.

I feel many of my hugs come when I am running late and can not find my keys or the other shoe, and so on. I will say a quick prayer 'Lord I could really use some help finding (insert what I lost)' sometimes I will find it right away and other times I will find it in a day or two which is ok with me because I view Him still helping me find it! I believe that these are moments when God lets me know that even though there are bigger problems in the world, billions praying to him at the same time; He's still there for me and listening. I do not pray in a way that tests God. I know He is there; I do not need Him to prove it. I just want to have conversations with Him. I hope He enjoys them as much as I do and I think He does because when we talk, I feel His love.

God loves us and wants us to talk to Him. I do just that, I don't save my prayers for the end or beginning of my days. Sometimes my prayers are short, sweet and to the point! Of course there are times in our faith where God will distance Himself, we all go through them. I fail these moments horribly. I would say most of the time I do not realize how far I have gone off path or how long it's been since I've had an intimate conversation with the Lord until I am so far into the forest that it is completely dark and I do not know which way to go to get back onto my path. I end up getting depressed and praying to God for comfort again. I know these are moments where I can grow as a stronger Christian and honestly I really need to remember these moments when they are occurring!

I recall a moment when I was at another low. I had been praying to God for days and felt alone. I had just adopted two cats for our local shelter so we were still in the early stages of getting to know each other. My grandma had just died, I was getting married in two weeks and starting to have cold feet, I didn't feel as though I could talk to my family or friends. To put it bluntly I was feeling very sorry for myself. Again I was sobbing and praying to God to comfort me. My cat, Jerry, who had become my therapist in the few short weeks he was with me was laying on my chest. I was alone in bed crying so hard that my pillow case was drenched. I was calling out to God over and over when Jerry meowed, turned and cradled my face between his front paws. I sobbed uncontrollably. God gave me a hug through Jerry. At that moment I not only knew God loved me but my cat did as well. He knew I was hurting and was comforting me. God. Is. Amazing.

I know that I will have lows and highs throughout my life but I also know God loves me; He is there for me and He will never give me more than I can handle in life. Sometimes, I wonder how strong He thinks I am! I pray daily that God helps me be childlike in my faith and I feel as though my 'hugs' are very childlike. People need to stop and realize the answer is simple. Life is simple. Love God. Live for God. Let God.

Try to remember the simplicity of God's love for you, for all of us. If you're having a bad day look to the positive; there's God. He's talking to you, you just have to listen. Try to have a conversation with Him everyday; even if it's to say 'Love ya!' I'm pretty sure He loves those messages.